June 25th and 26th are shaping up to be massive days of soccer. There’s more to watch than a stroll through Union Square, though you probably won’t find a skateboarding clown preacher on FS1 so not totally comparable. It has been a few days since any substantial soccer so cancel your lame brunch date and hunker down in front of FS1, ESPN, and Univision and don’t regret a minute of it.

Euro 2016 Round of 16 – all games on ESPN and in France

Some big time games kick off the weekend early. After each game you’ve got your official HotFooty score prediction and which team wins

Saturday, June 25
Switzerland vs. Poland – 9am EST, ESPN – 3-1 SwizzBeats
Wales vs. Northern Ireland – 12pm EST, ESPN – 2-0 Man Buns (Wales)
Croatia vs. Portugal – 3pm EST, ESPN – 3-2 Underwear Models

Sunday, June 26
France vs. Ireland – 9am EST, ESPN – 2-1 Croissants, though the fans of the Irish will love life regardless
Germany vs. Slovakia – 12pm EST, ESPN – 3-0 assembly line win for the automakers
Hungary vs. Belgium – 3pm EST, ESPN – 1-1 draw, Beer and Cheese prevail in penalties

Copa America Centenario – FX, FS1, and Univision

Saturday, June 25
Third Place Game – USA vs Colombia – 8pm EST, FX or Univision, 2-1 USA #DangerZoneReturns

Sunday, June 26
Final – Argentina vs Chile – 8pm EST, FS1 and Univision, 3-2 Messi Goal Messi Goal Messi Goal Gagagagagagagagagoallllll (Hoff edit: Sanchez will score a stunner to get the back in the hunt, but an untimely appearance by his dogs on the field will distract him and he’ll run off the field to take shirtless selfies with them)

MLS Week 16 – ESPN, ESPN 2, MLS Live, TSN, Univision

The USMNT players still aren’t back, but the MLS is in full swing without them. Some good matchups with the Cali Clasico being the centerpiece in this American footy feast.

Home team listed first. Soccer is basically the only sport we watch that does that, so just wanted to remind everyone.

Saturday, June 25
Seattle vs NYCFC – 5pm EST, ESPN – 2-1 Blue shirts.  NYCFC played well last week and Seattle is down their best attacking threat

DC United vs New England – 7pm EST, MLS Live – 1-1 with both teams struggling to score and giving up more goals on average than they score I think we’ll see a lot of inept defense followed by even more inept shooting

Philly vs Vancouver – 7pm EST, TSN – 3-1 Union. Theyre probably pretty mad after last weeks beating

Montreal vs Sporting KC – 7:30pm EST, MLS Live – 2-1 to the Canadians. SKC still missing Zusi but they got a win last week without him. Montreal is just too talented though and at home will be very tough.

Columbus vs Red Bulls – 7:30pm EST, MLS Live – 3-1 to the reds. They’re on fire lately and don’t expect anything less on a struggling Columbus side. Though with Lebron winning the finals in Cleveland, you never know what kind of sass the Ohio side might have right now.

Orlando vs Toronto FC – 7:30pm EST, MLS Live – 2-2 draw between two good teams somewhat out of form. TFC did get a win against the galaxy last week but hadn’t won in the previous 4, and Orlando has had three straight draws, so I’m thinking we get a fourth. Kind of hope Orlando wins though, feel like the city could use some joy right now.

FC Dallas vs Real Salt Lake – 8pm EST, MLS Live – 3-2 Salt lickers. This should be a fun match with lots of offense

San Jose vs LA Galaxy (the Cali Clasico) – 10pm EST, Univision – 2-1 Hollywood. This should be a gritty one and an entertaining watch. LA has only won once in the last 15 matchups in San Jose, but the ‘Quakes are missing their premier scorer (Wondo on the USMNT). That being said, LA are missing two of their frontline in Zardes and Keane, but have plenty of ammo in Mike Magee, Gio Dos Santos, Stevie G, Lletget. Definitely one to watch.

Sunday, June 26
Portland vs Houston – 6pm EST, ESPN2, 3-1 Wood smiters.  This battle of the bottom could get ugly but I’m thinking Portland gets its act together at home against the worst team in the west. This game is like eating a few cocktail weiners before sitting down for a $300 prix fix meal. But watch it anyway as you warm up for the Copa Final

“Ooooo! I would love a muffin thank you!” No one is as excited as this guy for Soccer this weekend. But you could be. Dig Deep