Each week we’ll be presenting the HotFooty Power Top 3 and Power Bottom 3 right here on these very pages. It is a look at a pseudo mid-season relegation and promotion. Promotion to where? I don’t know. Relegation to where? No clue. Without freddy adu here are the rankings:

Week 3 of the 2017 MLS season has been completed. And what a week it was. It is being unofficially called “the bandwagon is on the Oregon trail and has come down with cholera as I seem to recall some discussion along the lines of ‘Chicago and Houston are looking really good'” edition of the rankings.

Power Top 3:

1) Portland Timbers:  this ranking says a lot and Portland didn’t really leave me much choice but despite the tifos they are in top spot and have an all around feel as a very professional team (just Men in Black eraser pen what happened at the end of last season).
2) FC Dallas: 1 word: Maximiliano Urruti is driving a ferrari while everyone else is fred flinstone-ing. Stat of the game in the match against NE Revs: Kellyn Acosta took 11 corners. Quick calculation says that a corner taken every 32 seconds.
3) Atlanta United: you’re in the Power Top 3 now Atlanta. Heads are turning, the spotlight is on you. Do not let us down you’ve got quite a goals per game average to keep up now. In the early running for the boys of summer nickname. Enjoy

Power Bottom 3:

20) New England Revolution: when the Loons have accumulated more points than you you’re in the Power Bottom 3.
21) DC United:  rumors are people are calling them the DC White House Counsel, they like to take shots but their defense is weak. Joke tips accepted here
22) Minnesota United Football Club: most recent podcastfirst chance for the Loons to spread their wings and leave the nest unfortunately as we laid out in the the Loon is not exactly known for flight.

Honorable mention for Power Bottom 3 goes to this – would have loved to see the scramble mode MLS was in trying to hide this vid from Bastian Schweinsteiger.