The entire MLS season has boiled down to one delicious soccer reduction: Toronto FC vs Seattle Sounders in the MLS Cup Final 2016. One of the most unlikely finishes to the season that can possibly be imagined. Seattle have lost a whopping 14 games this season, second only to Vancouver (15) in the west and Chicago in the east (17). Toronto had never won a playoff game until this year, and though they’ve been fairly solid all season they were an underdogs the minute Montreal took a first half 3-0 lead in the first game of the MLS Eastern Conference Finals. It was insane finish to the season and HotFooty is happy to announce that we predicted this from the very beginning. Just don’t go back and check ANY of our predictions. Thanks.

If you don’t have a rooting interest in either team or just want to know something ridiculous, check out these reasons to root for either team.

Why you should root for the Seattle Sounders

Look, if you asked any self respecting soccer or MLS fan on September 27th if Seattle was going to make the playoffs they’d…shrug. Because the MLS is an insane crapshoot where literally the basement team in the summer can lose their STARTING STRIKER FOR THE USMNT Clint Dempsey and their coach of almost a decade, recover from near last place, and make a run with their rookie striker with balance issues and an unknown Uruguayan firecracker midfielder all the way to the MLS Cup Final.

Does that sound MLS enough for you? No? Ok well how about this… Jordan Morris, the aforementioned rookie striker, nearly lost all of his ligaments in the final leg of the conference finals which was played on the parking lot of a Denver Wal-Mart but was doctored back to health by his DAD the TEAM DOCTOR. Caps are necessary when discussing such absurdities.

He went down three times, all of which looked horrific and with him screaming in agony. All three times his dad came out and said “wrap that in a wheat tortilla. we’re good here.” Two of those times the game was already in the bag. But Morris was out there. You saw it. I saw it. It was glorious. Dice thinks there was some sort of hostage situation going on where he couldn’t leave the field or his dogs would get tossed off the Space Needle. I’m inclined to maybe believe that, because it was unconscionable.

Anyway. Seattle is amped up beyond belief after the performance of the new Sounder legend Morris. I’m almost a little bummed that the game won’t be in Seattle because their fans would go bananas, but Toronto isn’t so bad of an atmosphere either…

Why you should root for Toronto FC

First off, they have a mascot named BITCHY THE HAWK. Google it. It’s real. A literal hawk that dives down into the stadium and sometimes steals people’s pizza. Incredible!

Second off, they feature two of the main attractions of Bruce Arena’s USMNT (yeah I’m going there already), Jozy Altidore and Michael “Not Bob” Bradley. Bradley has shown a bit of wear this season, but he still commands a presence out there with his striking bald head and bald demeanor. Jozy on the other hand has turned into a goal scoring assist providing maniac, especially in the playoffs. He’s scored goals in 5 straight playoff games and is just a snarly massive beast who is a blast to watch.

Thirdly, Giovinco. If I have to explain than you haven’t been watching MLS maybe ever. If that’s actually true, here you go: Giovinco, the most exciting player in the MLS

and if you still need a reason, here’s some interesting comments from the players…

^ “I ate a bug and I want to tell you in private, away from these guys”

^ “Stop it! Stop it! HeHe!”

^ “I’M GOING TO GET SUCH GOOD DEALS ON BLACK FRIDAY!” “Jozy, Black friday was last week.” “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”