March 20th, 2016, MLS Week 3 Recap

DC United 1 – 1 Colorado Rapids

This was the 2016 home opener for DC United at RFK Stadium. DC came into the match in the basement of the Eastern Conference crawling in the dark trying to find the stairs to the 1st floor. Tim Howard found himself in the booth with Taylor Twellman at halftime as his signing with The Rapids was officially announced today.

  • DC united got manhandled in the first half and had two scoring opportunities from set pieces that bore no fruit.
  • Kevin Doyle tried scoring while sprawled out in the box like he was resting on a chez lounge on the beach in Ko Samui, Thailand. Who knew you could learn how to score from an 80’s Aerobics video. Jane Fonda burying one in the upper 90.

  • Second half started with some rain. Dampening the spirits of the 15,334 DC United fans. Sounded like a Division 3 Lacrosse game out there. Marcelo Sarvas hair still flopping around like the tail of a top tier show pony.
  • Dominique Badji relentlessly pressured DC backs in the second half and Doyle was a step behind on two header opportunities in the box.
  • Rapids keeper Zac MacMath rolled the ball straight into a swarm of opposing black jerseys like a father at a BBQ tossing an errant jelly-ball back to the kids while drinking a beer and talking with his boys. Should have merely been a goal kick mind you. I guess Tim Howard’s presence would make me a little shaky as well. That’s like being on a blind date knowing that the girl has a date with Leo tomorrow. No chance…over before it started.
  • 69′ Rapids’s Dylan Power blasts a header off a corner in  1-0.
  • 80′ Fabian Espindola equalizes after MacMath fails to catch the ball after coming off his line. #TimmyJittersPartDeux