Well this is what we all wanted, Lionel Messi running around the field like a man on fire making fools out of everyone in his way. He cut through Panama like Teddy Roosevelt in 1903 (he built a canal there).

In the 61′ Messi came on and by the 87′ he scored his third goal. A hat trick in less than 30 minutes.

With a final score line of 5-0, Panama walked off the pitch like they just had all four wisdom teeth removed and were just coming off the gas. They looked shocked and confused and I’m sure some of them just wanted to go home and have a big bowl of ice cream.

It is Saturday morning so toast up your everything bagel and smear it up with your favorite spread and let me walk you through this hat trick.

The video below is called in Spanish and nothing has ever been more right. Having these goals called in English is like watching the new Star Wars movies in SD. When he rattles off the G’s in goal like a machine gun it is the equivalent of dangling keys in front of a baby’s face…I am enthralled!

 


68′: One touch and struck with the left foot. Absolutely zero hesitation and this goal is a mere carrot next to the spicy buffalo wing that is up next.

78′: I take that back, this is not a buffalo wing…this is baked Dover sole served with micro greens and shaved fennel…with a glass of Chablis. You can’t see it because it curls so quick but that ball managed to travel to Smithtown,NY to warm my heart and sooth my soul before it makes it’s way into the goal. That’s a total distance of 1,680 miles traveled.

87′: Hey Panama…you had three guys on him. You may want to try ten next time. The ball sticks to his foot like a dandelion spore! Messi made those three look like Moe,Larry and Curly.

When this fan calls the goal before it goes in the stands is my favorite video from Copa America thus far. Pure excitement and he just can’t contain himself. If he did not say goal before it went in his head would have popped off. Needed to release some of that excitement.

 

Maradona said of Messi, “He doesn’t have the personality to be a great leader” 

Um Diego…shut up! We will save this argument for the HotFooty Podcast…but for now just shut up.

 

 Messi, Messi, Messi, Goal, Goal, Goal, Goal, Gooooooooal! G-g-g-g-g-g-g-oal. Futbol, Futbol, Futbol. Messi!