February 7th, 2016: Barclays Premier League Week 25

AFC Bournemouth 0 – 1 Arsenal

The Gunners come away with a big 3 points after going winless in their last four matches and rise to third in the Premier League table.  They are now tied with Tottenham and 5 points behind league leader’s Leicester City (pronounced Lest-er Sit-Tay-nay-nay)

  • Arsenal’s wily veteran Mathieu Flamini, an utter slidecopath (coining that term right now, going to be yyyyuge), should have probably been sent off for a double footed slide tackle.  Please for the love of good footy can he stop.
  • Mesut Ozil, the Arsenal magician in midfield and social media darling, hammered a half volley from the middle of the box to open the scoring.  In a rare but universally respected and understood move, he sucked his thumb to celebrate.  Pretty sure he’s without child, so can someone please help me out here?
  • Alexander Mark David Oxlade-Chamberlain, whose form has been of great concern to Wenger this season, snuck in a little worm-burner off the post.  Good for him and for his parents for not just settling on a name and sticking with it.
  • Harry Arter, which would be a great name for an Otter who dressed up like a human, unleashed a fantastic strike which would have put the Cherries on the board but for a leaping Petr Cech.
  • Arsenal held onto their 2 goal lead despite some fantastic late play from the Cherries and were amply helped by Cech’s once-again outstanding goalkeeping.

“please, my blessed child, may the peace of love be with you, and also with you” – Archbishop of Dashing Chins, Giroud.