March 13, 2016: FA Cup Quarterfinal – 2016

Arsenal played Watford in the FA Cup today and were beaten by a much less funded and talented side. Arsenal was expecting an easy ride into the FA Cup semi finals. Instead they found it hard to kick the ball in the desired direction, and generally looked like they had just seen their mother twerking.

Let’s hand it to the Watford Rovers, they made the most of their chances and didn’t have any stupid penalties, but that game was terrible if you’re a Gooner. Arsenal did basically everything they could not to score and the two goals they gave up were, per usual, completely avoidable. Here’s the match in numbers:

  • 71% – Arsenal’s possession to Watford’s 29%
  • 20 – Arsenal shots, 4 on goal, 1 scored
  • 3- “Clear cut” chances Arsenal had to score (Opta stats)
  • 7 – Watford shots, 2 on goal, both scored
  • 0- “Clear cut” chances that Watford had to score (Opta stats)
  • 78%- Arsenal passing accuracy in the attacking third of the pitch
  • 52%- Watford’s accuracy
  • 3- Saves by Watford
  • 0- Saves by Arsenal
  • 1 – Elton Johns that owned Watford back in the day

What else:

    • Gabriel continues to give up really awful goals. Not so convinced this was a good signing. He’s got a temper, gives up bad fouls (probably should have been sent off for a bad challenge today), and his positioning has been terrible when balls come into the middle. Get it together, G.
    • Ozil must go home and just scream into a pillow every game. The guy has created so many chances it’s just absurd we can’t finish them. Elneny had the composure of a six year old on Space Mountain today. Walcott shoots like he was just asked to dip his toes in a pit of snapping turtles. Welbeck, though he scored today and looked dangerous, can never seem to feel “deadly” out on the pitch. Where is that killer instinct to score at all costs?
    • Ospina didn’t have a chance on either goal. The second Watford goal was hit so hard the ball temporarily changed from Nike to Adidas. Check it out and watch the utter uselessness of Elneny at the end of this play. What is he even doing out there?:

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve liked Elneny generally so far, but this guy Guedioura strolls in from the local tavern, takes off his coat, waves high to family and friends, and then thunderwallops one straight at Ospina’s head like Clemens chucking at Piazza in 2000. How was no one marking him at all? Awful.

That’s enough.

Mert having a seizure when discovering he’d have to play with Gabriel again

Hey, Gabriel, maybe put this kind of effort into positioning and less into looking like a psychotic horse jumping off a bridge