March 2, 2016: English Premier League – Week 28

Arsenal 1 – 2 Swansea

Disclaimer:  This is Hoff writing this post. The views of Hoff do not necessarily represent the views of the HotFooty site but necessarily represent the views of a raving lunatic who wishes he could blame Flamini but can’t and just WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE

Arsenal managed to lose in fabulous fashion today.  After seizing the lead early on from a brilliant Joel Campbell goal, Arsenal banged three shots off the post, let in a goal after Ozil was tackled because everyone was confused, and then let in the mess of a goal off a Swansea free kick.

  • Joel Campbell scored, worked hard, and was subbed off for obvious reasons
  • Everyone booed because no one could possibly fathom this decision
  • Alexis, who I love because he works as if his dogs are kidnapped and the only possible way they’d be released is if his abs are just slightly more chiseled, was completely off minus his assist which was you decent. I forgive you, Alexis, but only if you take some more adorable selfies with your dogs. You better do it!
  • Jerbis Rudebanana* scored for Swansea on a fast break after Mesut Ozil was tackled by Ray Lewis* and then thrown through a table by Vince McMahon*. The ref was checking Snapchat and missed the play completely and it seemed like Arsenal was caught off guard. Sigh.
  • Petr Cech actually made a whoopsie when he couldn’t clear a Swansea free kick and it leaked into the net. No Arsenal player could box out the Swansea swarmers and it was just a total cluster.
  • Arsenal had plenty of chances to score and put the game away earlier but Giroud clanged one off the bar when he should have scored, Alexis banged one off the bar and also whiffed from 8 yards out. Ugh.
  • In the most Arsenal way to end a game ever, on the final play of the game, Petr Cech came forward to try his hand at heading in a last ditch equalizer and injured his hamstring running back from the play. He’ll be out for arguably the biggest game remaining on the schedule against Tottenham. GOOD JOB.

That’s enough

-Hoff

Petr Cech performing his favorite yoga move, “Ruin Season”