Arsenal went into this game even on points with Man City and in fourth place in the premier league table, because Man City has a better goal differential than Arsenal. Norwich, who is almost definitely going to get relegated, came into this game hoping to change their nickname, the Canaries. And to not get pummeled by the much more talented Arsenal team. It almost worked out for them, but Arsenal was able to score and keep the Canaries at bay.

April 30, 2016: English Premier League, Week 36

Arsenal 1-0 Norwich City

  • Remember what I said about Arsenal being the much more talented team? Definitely didn’t look like that in the first half. The bulk of the quality chances went to Norwich and if it wasn’t for their strikers looking like their feet were made of shrimp cocktails Norwich probably would have scored 4 goals. Petr Cech made his usual fine saves on two of them but two other chances were blasted into the stands or bounced wide.
  • Giroud looked like a model who wandered onto the pitch accidentally the entire first half, and the start of the second half saw much of the same.  He hasn’t scored in 13 straight premier league games, and while he didn’t start all of those games, that’s just straight up bad performance. He needs to get out of his own head, which I can only assume plays french hipster rap on repeat at all times.
  • Ozil, who is often compared to some of the greatest minnows of their time, hasn’t been able to put his stamp onto games lately because of the pathetic finishing abilities of Arsenal lately. Not much changed in this game other than I do believe he got a haircut.
  • The first goal was a quality ball in from Bellerin on the right which Giroud nodded down expertly to Welbeck who belted it towards the net. It took a fortunate little nick off of the leg of the Norwich defender and it made its way into the net.
  • Gabriel saved a goal on an excellent sliding tackle a foot from the goal. Great play and it felt like redemption for the maniac.
  • Ozil created a great chance for Sanchez on an unbelievable through ball from midfield. Sanchez’s thighs were having none of it and he chipped it right to the keeper’s arms.
  • Ozil blasted a half volley from 30 yards out which was tipped over by the keeper for a goal kick. You read that correctly.
  • Ozil is so good at soccer. He must have dreams where he chips balls to Ronaldo who blasts them into the net and never misses. On that note he blew a great opportunity late in the game that would have made Gunner fans feel a whole lot better.
  • Elneny had a great outside of the foot shot that the Norwich keeper saved while leaping like a speckled salmon into the mouth of that bear that disliked Leo Dicaprio so much.
  • Giroud, thinking he was offside, didn’t play a ball into him that he really should have just played and let the official make the call. His attitude is garbage right now. Really hoping Wenger goes striker hunting in the offseason and brings in someone with fire in his belly.