USMNT Highway To The Danger Zone Is Freshly Paved – Where Are We Going?

Embark with me on a quick detour down history lane as I explain the origins of the improvement of the classic delight we now know as beer. Once upon a time the monasteries (stick with me) of Belgium were quite astute at the onerous task of manuscript production. The time was the 1400s and books were not widely written and they were not widely read. Books were high society elite items created one at a time by a scribe in a monastery. Then, along came a German with some wild ideas. Johannes Gutenberg was known for playing it fast and loose and, among other things, introduced printing to Europe. Besides being possibly the single most important device for spreading information and the advancement of society in general, the printing press put the scribing monks on a permanent summer vacation. Didn’t take long for them to turn their attention to the art of beer making, quickly developing the trappist beers, and then Bob’s your uncle we’ve got Chimay and the La Trappe family. Thank you Johannes.

USMNT Highway To The Danger Zone Extension Project Gets Approved

Fast forward from one eccentric German advancing western civilization to another tri-tonal polo wearing, wild idea’d German probing the uncharted territories of the USMNT voyage to the elite levels of world soccer competitions.  The dots are there for you I’m just drawing the lines.

Before Jurgen: erratic, slow, unaccountable, low expectations, fraught with errors, occasionally delivering an inspired performance to keep you excited. Aka very monk-in-a-monastery-transcribing-thousands-of-words-esque.

During Jurgen: efficient, aware, risk-managed, planned development, sparks flying, creativity, higher expectations. I picture this like a historical combination of the machine precision of the printing press with the elation of a permanent vacation to create your own highly exclusive and unlimited supply of beer.


Thursday night at 9:30PM ET up at CenturyLink Field in Seattle the USMNT take on Ecuador. The basic match-up here is between the potentially explosive offense of Ecuador and the no goals in 2.5 games USMNT defense. The US is obviously without DeAndre Yedlin and his replacement is yet to be named but whose importance cannot be understated. Whoever it is will line up against either Jefferson Montero or Antonio Valencia. Here’s the scouting report on them: don’t blink if you’re defending them. But as we learned in the movie Total Recall, trouble comes in sets of 3. The final piece to Ecuador’s potent potables is another Valencia, first name Enner. He’s nicknamed Superman so that’s obviously already a problem. The two Valencia’s and singular Montero are picture below:

USA Ecuador Copa America

Each team’s offense may have an edge over the other’s defense. Now turn your cliche-ometer off. It’ll probably come down to who finishes their chances the best. Or as they like to say, the winning team will be the one most clinical in front of net.


Jurgen stated the goal for this tournament is to get to the semifinals. That is now well within their grasp. Beat Ecuador and they’re there. The most important part of that potential scenario is the likely opponent in the semifinal. If the USMNT win against Ecuador they will probably play Argentina. If the theory above about the BJ and DJ eras have any semblance of applying to the real world that game will be enormous. Don’t need to win it but let’s see how they play. Will it be B-Rabbit at the beginning of 8 Mile when he runs out of the battle to puke or more B-Rabbit exposing Papa Doc for actually being Clarence from the burbs.


We’ve all seen the lunatic actions of German National team coach Joachim Low over at the Euros. IF and this is a big if, this conversation below between Jurgen and Joachim had anything to do with exchanging manual sack check ideas AND it also included some transfer of major tournament winning knowledge, I am A-OK with whatever Jurgen wants to do on the sidelines tomorrow.

USA Ecuador Copa America

Also, here’s a little bonus coverage from the most recent HotFooty podcast on Joachim Lows smell check:

And as usual: