After a week of mental stress and resolve-testing media exposure where Jordan was physically forced to respond to the public about being left out of the USMNT squad for the Copa America tournament, JMo Smooth had a much needed break from the limelight. All he had to deal with was a trip to Foxborough and a game against the rudderless New England Revolution. No big deal compared to what the past couple of weeks have entailed, right? Well, not if the Revolution commentary team had anything to say about it. In a fit of ravenous revenge stemming from what must have been a brutal, malicious personal attack by Jordan, the Revs announcer finally had the chance to restore his manhood. And he took it swiftly and cleanly like a Phil Mickelson sand wedge from an up-slope at Augusta. Full warning, what you are about to hear is a vicious verbal attack upon another human being and it may be disturbing:

Shocking stuff. “…Morris crashing through like a bowling ball” – the commentators words not mine. Just when he thought he could have a week free of scrutiny he runs face first into some Boston area sass. Appalling.

Here’s an alternate angle:

They may have a point. I don’t know what happened here but it looks like he increased the sheet on the mainsail and caught a gust of wind as he was going for this ball. I don’t see a swing of a leg or a general movement toward the ball. I don’t know.

This Tuesday With Morris: If the sailing was a sneaky reference to Memorial Day weekend festivities then I have to give it up to Jordan on this one. Jmo Smooth sentiment: no change.