Happy Chinese New Year! It’s the Year of the Rooster and we are starting fresh by changing #EnglishMascotMonday to #SoccerMascotMonday…for two reasons. One, Liverpool is as stagnant as a cesspool and I am too agitated to research anything else English soccer related. Two, there are like 100 Lion and Dog mascots in England and I need some new inspiration.

The great artists always mix it up. Take Lady Gaga for example: one day she’s wearing a lobster dress and dropping E and the next day she’s in a pant suit hugging Tony Bennett. Keep them guessing!

I digress.

The Year of the Rooster is most unlucky for Roosters. Ain’t that a bitch? I guess this guy is in for wild ride in 2017…

Galo Doido

Team: Clube Atlético Mineiro (Est: 1882)
Town: Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Brazil
Home: Estádio Independência (Capacity: 23,018)
League: Campeonato Brasileiro Série A
Current Position: 4th Place (As of 1/30/17)
Key Features: Intense Eyes, Bulbous Comb and Wattle (rooster haircut and beak ball bag) and Built like John Cena.

This is one crazy cock. If you are looking for drug free/no antibiotics poultry I advise you to look elsewhere.

People born in a year of the Rooster are very observant. Hardworking, resourceful, courageous, and talented. Roosters are very confident in themselves. You think?

If there were a fight between Galo Doido and Lady Luck…I put my life savings on GD.

He is a straight up gangster. If you are afraid to travel to Brazil because of Zika Virus, feel comfortable traveling to Minas Gerais because Galo Doido is kicking the ever-loving shit out of mosquitos down there. Leave the DEET at home and throw out your citronella candles.

Next time you are hosting a summer cookout on the patio open up this post, hit full screen and play this video on constant loop.

Follow those instructions and if you get bit by a mosquito HotFooty will fly Galo Doido to your home so you can look him in the eyes and say “Mosquitos aren’t afraid of you.” Then you can’t sue us because you will be dead.

At the 1:12 mark he literally pulls a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu move and hurts that guy.

HotFooty challenge: The first person to tweet me (@DannyHotFooty) proof of a mascot flying a flag emblazoned with his own image & name gets a pair of HotFooty “The Essentials” Soccer Socks.

 

FYI Galo Doido outruns busses…

This Crazy Rooster is literally the most intense and dangerous soccer mascot I have run into since English Mascot Monday started almost a year ago.

#SoccerMascotMonday…the series formerly known as #EnglishMascotMonday…Introducing the U.S. to the World’s Great Soccer Mascots.