Time to go back to England for Soccer Mascot Monday. It has been a while since we checked the standings in English League 1. Last time we visited the Relegation Station Scunny the Bunny of Scunthorpe United was locked into the #1 spot. Now this guy is sitting on top of the league…
Team: Sheffield United F.C. (est. 1889)
Town: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England
Home: Bramall Lane (Capacity: 32,702)
League: English League 1
Current Position: 1st Place (as of 3/5/17)
Key Features: Overturned bowl of french fries for a haircut, Eye Patch, a Single Canine Tooth and always carries two Scimitar Blades.
My first thought on Captain Blade is that he is not a captain. No chance in hell. He is an honorary captain at best. I certainly would not put him in charge on any attack.
Watch him in this mascot brawl he is what fellow seafarers would call rudderless.
So, I googled how seafarers are ranked and lowest position is OS or Ordinary Seamen. The OS’ tasks include standing lookout and cleaning duties. I am not sure I would put this guy on lookout either, unless you want him to inspire the next James Cameron film.
I may give him a slight advantage over Costa Concordia’s Francesco Schettino who “tripped into a lifeboat.” I think Captain Blade would go down with the ship like a real man.
Shit, maybe he is a great captain now that I think of it, he just needs a strong crew to make up for what he lacks. Maybe we found Wenger’s replacement at Arsenal.
Anyways, Captain Blade doesn’t have to worry about going down with the ship because Sheffield United have an 8-point advantage over 3rd place Scunthorpe United.
VERY IMPORTANT FACT
Sheffield United’s most popular song is the “Greasy Chip Butty Song.” The song refers to a popular chip (French Fry) sandwich called the “Chip Butty” that is popular amongst people in Sheffield looking to soak up some booze.
I love this. Just when I think I am out, EFL pulls me back in!
P.S. If Captain Blade faced Tex Hooper of FC Dallas… it’s pretty clear who would win that battle.
#SoccerMascotMonday – Introducing the U.S. to the World’s Great Soccer Mascots.