MLS Power Rankings – Week 28 – only 6 (4? 7?) more weeks to go. Some Playoff previews this week and it got spicy.

  1. FC Dallas (–): Dallas limped into NYCFC (Yankee) Stadium and came away with a draw and an acute case of claustrophobia. They’ve got the league’s top spot and the Week 28 award for “Most Misses After Opposing Defense Gives Up”.
  2. LA Galaxy (–): Well that’s it for the rest of the MLS, Landon Donovan has scored a goal and is now officially once again the most important player in MLS
  3. Toronto FC (+2): I glanced at the league results heat map, I think they’re the hottest team. Or coldest. What’s green?
  4. Colorado Rapids (-1): Well Badji won’t be winning any awards for poise any time soon . What is more alarming for Colorado, the apparent crop circles on one side of the field or the absolute inability to score goals?
  5. NYCFC (+1): Provided other teams in the league with a little preview of what it will be like to step into the Thunderdome that is NYCFC (Yankee) stadium with them in the playoffs.
  6. New York Red Bulls (+1): NYRB are contractually obligated to personify a sugar crash much like the one you experience after consuming red bull. They’ve chosen to do this by constantly losing leads late.
  7. Real Salt Lake (-3): The scoreboard is now officially at 1-1 in the Rimando face saves versus RSL home losses
  8. Philadelphia Union (–): Firm to quite firm chance of making the playoffs even with a recent 3-0 loss to the Chicago Fire.
  9. Portland Timbers (+1): Last 10 games have been 5 wins and 5 losses and they’ve somehow cemented themselves into a playoff spot. You don’t have to understand this league but you’ve got to respect it.
  10. Montreal Impact (-1): The only Impact they’ve had recently is on poutine sales to drown out fans’ sorrows
  11. Sporting Kansas City (–): Very sporting of SKC to allow old man Donovan score a goal. I mean, their playoff chances could have used the win but still nice of them.
  12. Seattle Sounders (–): The approximate wind speed at game time was 65mph. Which is a huge advantage for Jordan Morris whose sheets are always eased
  13. NE Revolution (+2): If a team not called the Patriots, Celtics, or Red Sox makes the playoffs does the city of Boston know about it?
  14. DC United (-1): DC scores like Obama shows up to press conferences.
  15. Orlando City SC (-1): Theres nothing like denting your playoff hopes by losing 4-1 to this year’s “The Chronicles of Riddick”
  16. San Jose ‘Quakes (–): Lowest goal total team in the league playing second lowest goal total team in the league. Result: 0-0. Thanks for playing
  17. Vancouver Whitecaps (–): How dare the Whitecaps almost ruin the Sounders chances of making the playoffs. Luckily Jmo Smooth flew through and order was restored.
  18. Columbus Crew (–): Ya they beat Orlando this week but the fact it looks like the team does a pre-game ritual of slip n’ slide down a yellow highlighter highway kind of takes away from it
  19. Houston Dynamo (+1): Houston has a guy out here menacing the league with toe pokes like the DC sniper
  20. Chicago Fire (-1): Sort of a nice draw against DC. But when the Dynamo win a big one you’re going down a spot in this season long steel caged death match.