MLS Power Rankings – Week 19 – This week red cards officially replaced visa and mastercard as most commonly used cards.

  1. Colorado Rapids (+1): I want to apologize to the entire state of Colorado for placing them in the second spot last week. I went against my better judgment in a moment of confusion. Things were happening fast and I just hope we can all learn and move on from it.
  2. FC Dallas (-1): I knew it.
  3. LA Galaxy (–): A hall of fame “he wasn’t going to miss from there” goal from Gerrard and some otherwise awful finishing from LA. Took a bit for me not to knock them down a spot for only beating Houston 1-0
  4. NYCFC (+3): Pep just FYI we here at HotFooty fight dirty and if you even consider taking him over to City you’ll get a strong whiff of our tactics.
  5. Philadelphia Union (+1): Used a fortunate penalty call to their advantage to overcome a two goal deficit and tie the game up against the Red Bulls. A simply spectacular red card against Ilsinho and they still looked like the better team.
  6. Real Salt Lake (-2): NASA scientists still trying to figure out how they didn’t score against the Revs.
  7. Montreal Impact (-2): I still do love seeing Drogba lose and especially at the hands of a classic Lampard I’m sticking body parts out and seeing what happens goal that got Chelsea so many wins.
  8. Sporting Kansas City (–): Hey even the Falcon 9 rocket from SpaceX had to cool off a bit after reaching escape velocity. Exercised their charity muscles a bit letting Chicago beat them.
  9. San Jose ‘Quakes (+1): The ‘Quakes somehow won this game? The ease with which these refs pull out red cards never ceases to amaze. Its not a 2 minute trip to the penalty box the guy is now off the field. I feel like they should go over the rules with them just to make sure before each game.
  10. Vancouver Whitecaps (+2): Great week for the Caps. Hey, most points in Canada that’s nothing to take lightly
  11. New York Red Bulls (–): Masters of giving up leads. Is it a problem when you’re up a man, it’s a tie late in the game, and your goalie is pleading with the defense after each wave of attack from Philly like they just stole his groceries? Is that bad?
  12. Portland Timbers (+1): Unbeaten in 9 games now putting up the “espresso defense” as I believe it is called. Counter attack is working wonders for them
  13. Toronto FC (-4): Played against 9 men for 40 minutes: 0 goals for 1 goal against. Very Canadian of them to throw the game to San Jose given the perceived red card injustices.
  14. NE Revolution (–): Came up with a 0-0 draw against the Salt Lakers in an all time Houdini act
  15. DC United (–): Couldn’t take advantage of a ridiculous red card in their favor and are officially in flounder mode at the bottom half of the table
  16. Seattle Sounders (+1): Hi, we’re the Seattle Sounders. Allow us to, in the span of two games, explain the MLS in a nutshell: First, we won 5-0 against the top team in the league in a game with 1 red card for each team. Then we lost 3-1 to our huge rivals in a pacific northwest romp. Which way is up, we don’t know.
  17. Orlando City SC (-1): When will it stop for Orlando? This slip has been vicious and unrelenting. Do they need a weekend in the French section of Epcot maybe to get calm the nerves?
  18. Columbus Crew (–): Voted the team most likely to draw twice in one week against mediocre opposition. Real opportunity missed by the announcers on the Afful tackle. Not for the tackle, but for the awful red card that he got.
  19. Chicago Fire (+1): Congratulations to the Fire you’re out of the fire.
  20. Houston Dynamo (-1): Word is the mid-season relegation idea is being thrown around the league offices. Dynamost likely to get the hammer drop