News broke last week that Seattle Sounders will be using a New FieldTurf  at CenturyLink Field this season.

Both FieldTurf and the Sounders seem very excited that this Revolution series material has received a 2-Star rating from FIFA, but I am not that impressed. I like the game to be dirty!

FieldTurf boasted about the scientific virtues of their new green fiber on their website today:

FieldTurf Revolution system is built with the FieldTurf Revolution fiber and is the result of innovative science, engineering and technology…A proprietary fiber polymer formulation resists splitting and degradation and includes an industry leading ultraviolet inhibitor technology.

Hey FieldTurf, you know what you need to work on? Uniform stains! I like to see grass on the football helmets after a goal line stand and dirt all over the front of a short stops uniform. My favorite players are usually a mess because they sacrifice their bodies and play like animals.


The same thing goes for soccer. I want to see dirt all over my defensemen. Nothing like seeing dirt stains on Dejan Lovren’s butt like he just sat on a chalupa.


I understand all the cost saving and environmental benefits. The science is impressive. Just start working on some stain technology.


I would like to be a fly on the wall during those FIFA meetings. Maybe a bunch of dudes smoking cigars and lawn bowling; surrounded by beautiful women. Maybe Sepp Blatter gets naked and rolls around in the turf like a dog after a bath. He sheepishly looks up smiles and says, “2 stars!”

 Come on we have to put the new turf in “No!” Seriously its time to get up “No! So, you’re just going to sleep here now?