Did something feel off last Monday and you couldn’t put your finger on it? It was most likely because there wasn’t an English Mascot Monday post. Well something is off about this post because this is not an English mascot…Kingsley is from the Scottish Premiership. One only need recall the trials and tribulations of Sir William Wallace or the recent “Brexit” to know that Scottish and English are not the same thing.
I was in Charleston, SC last week where it was 103º. I walked one block from my car today to bring groceries in, and I drained my Brita jug and passed out on my couch.
What is the point of all this? The sun can be a real son of a bitch, and it is perfectly personified by Kingsley.
Team: Partick Thistle F.C. (Founded in 1876)
Town: Maryhill, Glasgow, Scotland
Home: Firhill Stadium (Capacity: 10,102)
League: Scottish Premiership
Final Position 2015/16: 9th Place
Key Features: Uni-brow, White-Walker Eyes, Bad Dental Plan, Harshly Yellow
You take a look at Kingsley and you think “what a dick.” He is the guy that nut taps you and then shoves you into the locker while your talking to your girlfriend and then asks you for ride home and you do it because he is the sun and you need him for existence…literally.
It turns out the mascot first reared his head after California based investment firm Kingsley Capital sponsored the Partick Thistle.
The worst part of the whole situation is that Kingsley replaced Jaggy MacBee. Look how wonderfully adorable this guy is! In protest of this travesty I am going to define Jaggy’s key features: Eyes full of hope and wonderment, playful antenna and a red button nose.
How do you replace this button-nosed bumble for this 5-year-old’s sketch of a jerky death star?
You know when a repeat-offender athlete has a press conference and it gets to the point where his agent does all the talking? Same goes for Kingsley as seen in the video below. How many DUI’s for Kingsley?
HotFooty’s #EnglishMascotMonday: Introducing the U.S.A to the great English Soccer Mascots!