I went to the beach this weekend with my sister-in-law and her friends and a discussion broke out about the Kardashians. As you can imagine it was passionate and every female made like they knew each sister personally. Attempting to blow up the conversation I said that they will all look ridiculous by the age of 40, given the amount of work they have had done already .

That blew up in my face as they debated for 10 minutes if the truly attractive one (Kendall) has had work done yet.

I don’t know about Kendall Jenner…but Bodger from Wycombe Wanderers F.C.  has had some work done.

Before

After

Team: Wycombe Wanderers F.C (Founded in 1876)

Town: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, England

Home: Adams Park (12,284)

League: English League 2

Final Position 2015/16: 13th Place

Key Features: Red Monchhichi Hair Cut,  A Humble Brow and Gaping Mouth

You look different Bodger, did you get a haircut?

I don’t judge people who get plastic surgery honestly. Do what you have to do to be happy. But when the procedure is this altering it’s going to change your personality.

A surge in confidence and emitting far too much happiness overnight cannot be an advantage in English League 2.

No matter how many alterations you make, a bit of that self-consciousness still exists. All it take is one Yeovil Town supporter yelling “Did you get the rest of your nose stuck up Gareth Ainsworth’s arse” and you crumble, get your ears pinned back and take out a small loan for cheek implants.

I like old Bodger. He was an ugly duck, but I am sure he worked it to his advantage. He probably drank heavily and cut other people down with some world-class ball breaking, but went the extra mile to get a laugh for some desperately needed self actualization. He’s the best friend you love to hate.

Let’s go to the tape:

Old Bodger

New Bodger

We all see it Bodger. I haven’t seen such a forced smile since my wife introduced me to my father-in-law (season-ticket-holding Yankee fan) while I was wearing a Red Sox hat. That plastic smile is not fooling me.

Give Bodger his nose back and Wycombe Wanders F.C. will surge back into the English League Championship.

#HowBodgerGotHisNoseBack

FYI

Bodging is a traditional wood turning craft used in this part of England for furniture making. Why cant we just just bodge up a new nose for this cat?

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