I took a day off from drinking on Friday night which allowed me to put on an epic performance at Radegast Hall in Brooklyn on Saturday. It was the hottest I have ever been inside of bar in my life. As I was drinking Schneider-Weisse by the liter I was losing 2 liters of fluid. I backed up every beer with two ice waters. I excused myself every 15 minutes to splash water in my face and towel off my body. No one was cheering me on, no one handed me a flag, but ladies and gentleman this performance was Olympic.

As an 8-year veteran of the beer industry I am of the opinion that a drinker should not merely be judged on volume of consumption but poise, composure and eloquence. That being said, here is a guy who displays none of those…

Billy the Brewer

Team: Burton Albion

Town: Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire, England

Home: Pirelli Stadium (6,912)

League: English League Championship

Final Position 2015/16: 2nd Place in English League 1 (promoted to the Championship this year).

Key Features: Droop Smile, Rosacea, Unkempt hair, Raccoon Eyes

Well Billy would be pretty easy to pick out of a police lineup huh? He is by far the ugliest mascot I have ever seen.  Only someone equally drunk and busted could possibly be attracted to Billy…meet Betty.

There truly is someone out there for everyone unfortunately. If these two have a child I think they will give birth to Phillie Phanatic.

Hey, maybe the whole inebriated thing is an act for Billy. It is pretty well known that Dean Martin was actually not that big of a drinker. He was just doing shtick because he was used to playing off of Jerry Lewis as a two man act.

Anyways, by all means, please make your own judgement on Billy. May I suggest looking at this “Billy Brewer Cam”?  It looks like Lindsay Lohan’s dashboard cam leaving Southampton on a foggy night after Puff Daddy’s white party.

 

Burton Albion lost to Bristol City 2-1 on Saturday in their first performance in The English League Championship.

Burton Albion fans love Billy though and social media is littered with pictures like the one below. I need to go day drinking on “Pancake Day” in England. Add that to the list of things that I have to do because I discovered it researching #EnglishMascotMonday.

FYI

In the height it’s brewing history in the later half of the 19th century 1/4 of beer sold in England was brewed in Burton. Now 1/4 of all the beer produced in Burton is consumed by Billy.

 

HotFooty’s #EnglishMascotMonday: Introducing the U.S.A to the great English Soccer Mascots!