February 6, 2016 Barclays Premier League Matchup Week 25:

Newcastle United 1 – 0 West Bromwich Albion

  • Newcastle United breaches out of the relegation zone like a pregnant porpoise by picking up a clutch three points. Aleksandar Mitrovic  chipped in the only goal, in the 32nd minute, after receiving a lovely ball from Jonjo Shelvey.
  • Jonjo always looks like he’s going to break down emotionally. He reminds me of Kevin Arnold on Wonder Years, just tormented and in his own head. Buck up buddy, you have as many assists in four games with the Magpies as you did in 16 with Swansea.
  • Andros Townsend received a cross in the box and made an aggressive first touch, cut back on a dime and put a cheeky little stripe off the right post. He also had four shots on net and a few great passes.
  • Townsend has been loaned 9 times by Tottenham. I don’t think I have loaned anything in my life to anyone 9 times…imagine loaning a human that many times? He is going to improve the Magpies if he maintains this form. Hopefully this poor guy can buy a house rather than rent. Get this man a realtor!
  • Nothing good to say about West Brom. They had 31% possession and 7 shots; ZERO of which were on target.

Andros Townsend literally walks around with his toiletry bag because he has no idea where he’s waking up tomorrow