English Mascot Monday is back from a brief hiatus for Memorial Day…which is all about America.

In order to transition back in let’s talk about a club that is now linked to our nations Capital!

Swansea City Association Football Club can now be mentioned in the same breath as MLS’s D.C. United.

United co-owner Jason Levien is teaming with Steve Kaplan to take over the historic Welsh side.

Not only do you take over a club that has produced Joe Allen you also get their mascot….

Cyril The Swan

 

Team: Swansea City A.F.C. (Founded in 1912)

Town: Swansea, Wales

Home: Liberty Stadium(Capacity: 20,972)

League: English Premier League

Final Position 2015/16: 12th Place

Key Features: Insufficient wing span, human feet and a propensity to stare at his own package.

Cyril is the worst goalie in the history of Mascot Soccer. I think it has to do with the fact that he only has peripheral vision. Want to score on Cyril? Got to hit it right at him! Between the arched neck, whacked out eyes and the wet paper bags he calls wings he is basically defenseless.

I would not go upper-90 on him because even chickens can flutter up a few feet. Couple that with his vision and he will stone you.

For this reason the young fan’s love taking PK’s on him at half time and he is a good sport about it.

All that being said…the guys a little nuts.  Something is not right.

You ever have a family friend who comes around for BBQ’s and he is covered in tattoos and just not as pure looking as your dad let’s say.

As a kid your nervous but, he turns out to be a super nice guy and will pitch Wiffle Ball to you while he is drinking a bud light.

15 years later your Mom says “Remember David Smith, he used to come to the annual BBQ? Your uncles friend…”

“Of course, he was such a nice guy, what about him?”

“Yea he’s in Prison he killed a guy.”

That’s how I feel about Cyril the Swan. Super nice guy who is tough looking. Got some tattoos in his younger days during a rough stage, but he’s matured and grown up.

So, people start with him. One day he’s minding his own business at a bar and someone is poking at his nerves and he just turns around and bottles him. Boom fifty to life!

Exhibit A:

HotFooty’s #EnglishMascotMonday: Introducing the U.S.A to the great English Soccer Mascots!